BEING A DAD

With this being my first blog I thought what better way to start it off than to talk about the most important aspect of my life and that is being a father and my children. I'm also a proud step father as well. But even though I treat them both the same and feel the same way about each of them I would like to talk about each of them in separate blogs as feel they are two different story's, about feelings and how things worked and came about.

My biological daughter is called Esme. We named her after my sister Esme who I'm very close to. I did think that when I brought this to my now wife she would not go for it as she might feel strongly about another name, but saying that it was a pretty easy process as compared to other couples. Only thing that my partner asked for is to have her middle name as Alice.

Esme was fully planned from the start but in saying that we did have some hardships along the way with miscarriages. So once Esme got past the 12 week stage we started to get really excited as we could be, as we started to really feel this was the time. But saying that we did have problems as well during the pregnancy. The big problem for us was preeclampsia and Esme had stopped growing. After going to the hospital on plenty of occasions we were told the best course was to let Esme stay in the womb and to be born naturally as even though she had stopped growing, she had a better chance at coming out naturally, as this would be the best way to get her lungs to kick start and to breath naturally on her own.

Esme was born near her due date and was born naturally. When she came into the world she was very small for her age, weighing in at just over 3lb's. Straight away she was taken away and put into a incubator to be checked up on. She was only in there for around 24 hours before being taken out for us to look after but she did drop down to under 3 lb's.

But after all the worrying we brought her home and even though she was small for her age she was perfectly healthy.

Before Esme was born I use to work around the country for a window company. When I found out that I was going to be a dad I decided I didn't want to miss my daughter growing up and gave my job up. When my partner went back to work I became a house husband. I did have part time work as a doorman to bring in some money at the weekends but I took care of Esme during the week days most of the time

When esme was a baby she was pretty good most of the time. She had her moments like all young children with crying at night and not wanting to sleep but in general we were very lucky indeed.

As she grew up we could tell she had her quirky ways and liked everything to be in a line and things to be in order. We tested her with moving stuff and seeing if she noticed, which she did nearly every time. Once she started to get to the age of around 4 she started to twist her hair so much that one side was very thin and was really noticeable. Once being able to get out of that habit it moved onto to picking her lips as well.

All these things kept happening and we could tell she looked at things in a different way and had a way of doing things that stood out. Her understanding of things was different as well in regards to how she looked at things.

Things really started to take a notice in primary school as she did struggle to learn things and moved around alot. After a talks with the school and taking her to meet with people at the hospital to find out what was the course and in the end it turned out she has a form of autism. I will say though she is on the low spectrum things and lives a normal life like the rest of her friends at the school. We found that she needed to learn in a different way as when people explained things to her it went over her head a lot but with it being shown she understood with ease.

After finding out what was wrong and getting the help that was needed I'm glad to say at this present day she no longer needs the help and is not just on par with the kids in her class but is a high achiever. She goes to a welsh school and learns two languages and also has her clubs in the evenings as well. She is a very determined little girl and doesn't let what she has get in the way of what she needs to do.

Going back quickly to being at home with my daughter and when she was a baby I must say even though it was more hard work than I thought I'm really glad i done it as working away all week I would have missed so much.

Growing up out of school we did everything as a family. We might not have gone on the most fancy holidays but we were out all the time at weekends. Esme has been brought up on the outdoor life and I still remember having her in a back pack with all our stuff hiking 6 miles through waterfall country. She has always loved it (step son not as much lol).

She now is 9 and is a very active girl. She has clubs in the week which is now everyday apart from friday night. She does gymnastics, swimming, cheerleading, judo, brownies, 2 different types of dance and also drama. On top of that we are out every weekend either hiking and doing something as a family.

With all the years flying by and always being busy I have to say I'm so proud of her. She is a shining light to us all in the family and I enjoy so much watching her grow up.

Being a father is an amazing time. If there is one thing I have learnt more than anything bringing Esme up is the fact that money doesn't buy love. No amount of things can make up for your time spent with them. They are only young once and you should enjoy every last moment you can until your not cool anymore and they want to see there friends instead lol. On a serious note this is why we do things every weekend and bring her up in the way we feel is best. By showing her how beautiful the world can be away from STUFF and just getting out and about as a family. When we go hiking now and sometimes there are some big hills in south wales, Esme is flying up them with ease and can 6-7 miles and still want to play with her friends when we get back.

It great to see her full of life and out and about making memories with us as this is a special time for us all that we won't get it back. But even at the age of 9 we have done so much together and moving forward we will do even more and I will enjoy every minute of it. I have know doubts she will go on to great things when she is older. She can look after me then lol